JENA'S PSALM

Truly God is good and He loves His people.

And all their circumstances first pass through His Hands.

As night draws near, I feel an indescribable uneasiness.
I lay awake with my eyes fixed on the ceiling, sleep is just a touch away.

Father you created sleep, it’s a natural part of our human design.
So why is it so far out of reach.  I can’t see it, yet it is right there in front of me.

I’ve become afraid of the dark. I am, many nights, afraid to lie down. Afraid to close my eyes. Afraid of being medicated, and afraid not to.

I get up each day feeling exhausted, dizzy and many times useless.
Quality of life drifts from me.

Is it a stronghold as many have said? Is it me, have I done something, not done something? Is it a demon?  Or perhaps an idol or a suppressed sadness.

How long will you forget me? How long must I suffer? 

How long must my family suffer?

Turn and answer me, O Lord my God!
Restore my nights. Restore my days. Restore my thoughts, or I will die.
Don’t let the enemy rejoice, saying “I have defeated her!”

Yet I trust in your unfailing love.  You are the God over everything.
You have never turned away from me, even when I didn’t know you.

I will rejoice because you have rescued me from the kingdom of darkness. You’ve walked with me through every sadness, sickness and despair. You are by my side every waking moment.

You have given me a new life in Jesus, a family I didn’t even know I wanted, and an earthly husband who loves You first and walks with me through the mountaintops and the valleys.

Today, I am thankful for the deserts in life, even this one. Thank you that Your Mercies are new each morning. Thank You for sustaining me. Thank you for all you have taught me here; about You, about me, about family and about marriage mirroring Jesus and His bride.

I will sing to the Lord because He is good to me. 

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